To Whom It May Concern

Useful quote from Jesse James' press statement in response to news that he's been cheating on Sandra Bullock. Can be sprinkled liberally into almost any conversation and should be used several times a day:

"There is only one person to blame for this whole situation, and that is me. It's because of my poor judgement that I deserve everything bad that is coming my way.

This has caused my wife and kids pain and embarrassment beyond comprehension and I am extremely saddened to have brought this on them. I am truly very sorry for the grief I have caused them. I hope one day they can find it in their hearts to forgive me."

Note that Sandra Bullock became an Oscar winner last week. Jesse doesn't need to keep his wife in a basement to get it on with his new girlfriend. Though he probably does own a velvet burnout brocade pick-up-guy shirt and fancy white leather shoes. . .

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