Saturday

Tears all day

This could have been what dreams are made of

and you've made it nothing much.



You could have helped me become so much more and lifted us up. Just look what you had to do. Does it make you proud?



You could have listened. Yes, to me.



You could have relented, just a little at times. Not even now, when you see me in tears.



I only asked for what I felt I deserved - to be loved. As I am. and now I'm crying again



You could have been the man who was more to me than pain. Was it too hard? Is it some superhuman task that not one of you is up to? Am I to be understanding?



You're focused on the kids now. Where did I go? Was I ever even there?



You seem to think some injustice was perpetrated on you. What was it? That I asked to have things? That I wanted more than domesticity? That I finally stopped taking less-than as my only option? Did I hurt you somehow? Or is enough of an insult to tell you you can't treat me that way anymore?



We could have shown the world how it's done. We're statistics, instead.



I tried. I loved you until I realized you no longer knew who I was. And now I know you do not care.



And what could have been drifts off into the corner like a dust bunny. I'm sure you'll find someone to clean that up so you can get to the gym with your friends.



I'll be here in the basement. Attempting once and for all to be my own mother, father and best friend.



You go be a millionaire or whatever. I will not demand an apology. I'll cry all day or all year if I have to and I'll get the kids to school on time and I'll stand tall, not be vengeful and wonder for the rest of my life why you couldn't just love me.

1 comment:

jennyonthespot said...

Oh honey... I didn't realize... Hugs to you.